DATING WORLD | Your Relationship: Your Responsibility

 

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 Let’s say you met a great woman who liked you too. You went on a few funfilled dates, all with the opportunity for the sex to happen. Then that opportunity came, you took it A few months have passed and now you are in a committed loving Relationship. Congratulations Now what?

Huge Rewards, Huge Responsibility

Obviously, your new goal is to make your new relationship work for a lifetime. But surprisingly, most guys don’t even think of this. Most guys see the perks of being in a relationship with a woman, but they don’t see the responsibility.

In fact, most guys think of the “job” to make a relationship work as being divided equally between themselves and their girlfriend. They think that whenever relationships fail, half the time it’s the man’s fault while the other half of the time, it’s the woman’s fault. But nope. While some failed relationships ARE caused by crazy women who have no business being in a relationship, the vast majority are the men’s responsibility.

Here’s why: A failure in relationship means a failure in leadership. And by now, you should know that the leader of your relationship is you. If your girlfriend gets upset or unhappy, it means you’re not meeting her needs. And when you disregard her complaints as the “outbursts of a bratty little girl,” it means you’re not really all that concerned in meeting her needs. So she naturally goes elsewhere to have her needs met. So let me say that again:

A failure in relationship means a failure in leadership. So How Do You Lead a Relationship Well? The key is to always be the leader in your relationship. You got to be the strong, dominant, capable guy who delivers on all (or at least MOST) of his promises and who constantly grows and improves himself over time. But at the same time, while you’re busy meeting her needs and your own, you should also demand respect. Remember, you’re the leader, not the subordinate. You’re the master, not the slave. You don’t live for her; you live for your mission in life. Your woman should be in submission, she must submit to your mission. In other words, she should aid, assist and support you in fulfilling your mission and purpose in life.

She cannot, and should not ever be the mission and purpose. How to Know You’re Not Ready Remember one of the core traits you should be developing in yourself is honesty. And a huge part of honesty is about being honest with yourself including when it comes to knowing when you’re NOT ready to handle a relationship. How do you know you’re NOT ready? Here are a few signs: You’re not committed to being a lifelong leader of your relationship You’re still “okay” with the idea of a relationship being a 50/50 deal, where you “share” leadership and responsibility with your woman.

You’re still a people-pleaser that is, you’re addicted to making people like you and when people DON’T like you, you take it personally If you still have any of the traits above then while you SHOULD keep meeting and dating women, perhaps it’s best if you waited until you’re ready before you got into a serious relationship. But on the other hand, if you ARE ready and if you’re WILLING to accept the lifelong responsibility, come hell or high water then congratulations. You’re about to enter the most challenging, character-building, and rewarding phase of a man’s life

DATING WORLD | The Purpose of a Relationship is to Give

             

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 Earlier in this book, you learned that every human being is hard-wired to do two things: To survive and to replicate. It’s the most basic driving force of humanity. It’s not sexy, but take either one out, and humanity would be extinct in two generations. The most beneficial way to achieve these two primal goals is by leading what I call a “give-and-give” relationship. Let me explain

Give-and-Givee vs. Give-and-Takee

There’s a pervasive idea in the dating world where “a good relationship is give-and-take,” where both partners’ needs are equally met by the other. Unfortunately, this is a false belief because equality can never be achieved.

 The moment the “50-50” becomes “51-49,” resentment begins to seep in and the resentment snowballs until the relationship breaks up. This belief has caused countless failed relationships and marriages in the past century. It makes people, men and women, enter relationships with a mindset of: “What’s in it for me?” That’s why I recommend a different approach a “give-and-give relationship.”

This is a relationship where both partners are constantly giving of themselves to each other, regardless of “equality.” As a result, there’s nothing to “take” from one another. THAT is the right mindset to have. Wouldn’t you agree? Most men today go into relationships with a “taking” mindset. They want what’s coming to them: Free sex Higher status More sex The perk of becoming more attractive to other women Even more sex Reminds you of the word “Player,” doesn’t it? My advice: Don’t buy into the “give-and-take” philosophy. It’s a game that never ends. You’ll end up broken and depressed, and so will the women you’ll fail. Instead, understand that the purpose of getting into a relationship is to give.

 Fair warning: A relationship might be more challenging than you expect. It’s one of the heaviest responsibilities you can ever shoulder but that’s no surprise considering you’re keeping the species going. So here are a few tips to help make the responsibility easier. You MUST cultivate the hunger to give. If your life is still all about you and what you “get” out of it then no offense, bro, but you still got some growing up to do. You MUST have your life set up. At the very least, you got to be financially secure, with enough cash flowing into your life to support your lifestyle and the lifestyle you want to create for your relationship. That way, you’re psychologically and mechanically ready to handle a relationship. After that, you’ll need to master the “art” of handling a relationship and we’ll tackle that in the next Chapter.

One last question before that: What if it’s too late for you? What if you DON’T have a giving mindset, and you DON’T have your life set up but you’re already in a relationship? No worries. You’re a human being, and that means you can still grow. You can still start cultivating a giving mindset now, and you can still achieve financial security now. It won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But then again, nothing worthwhile like a lifelong relationship ever is.

DATING WORLD | The Courtship Never Ends

 

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There’s an old joke that goes: “First comes the engagement ring. Then comes the wedding ring. Then comes the suffering.” Here’s another snide one: “A wedding ring is the smallest handcuffs in the world.” These jokes are funny. But here’s the thing about these jokes: They’re best told by men who LOVE their relationships, LOVE their marriages, and LOVE their women. Why? Because then, it would be purely funny. It’s not done out of spite, which is a sign of insecurity. It’s like being so confident of your own masculinity that you can joke about it, you’re not fazed by jokes and jabs towards your masculinity, or wear a pink shirt solely because it’s comfortable and stylish. And so that’s another worthwhile goal to pursue to earn the right to say such jokes. And the best way to achieve that goal and earn that right is to understand and accept a simple fact: The courtship never ends.

Nor Should It.

Why do most divorces happen? Most cases cite financial difficulty, infidelity, and other irreconcilable differences. But I’d wager those are just symptoms of the deeper root cause of divorce. I’d wager the courtship simply stopped at some point and that’s when the relationship started to die. When you stop courting your woman, the courtship gets replaced by a predictable routine and routine is the bane of all attraction. When there’s no excitement, mystery, or drama there’s no attraction to be had. So how do you keep the courtship going?

Here’s my advice. Always remember that you’re in charge both of the relationship and of your own life. In a courtship, you’re constantly trying to “win” her but at the same time, you can live without her if you had to, because you have a bigger mission in life. Spend enough time with her. Ideally, take her out twice a week like on a dinner after work on Wednesday, then a more proper date on the weekend. But when you do spend time with her, be fully present don’t multitask and divide your attention. Learn to listen. Conversation is one of her deepest needs, and you’ll want her to see you as the person she can trust the most. Don’t dismiss or discourage her, or she’ll look to her girlfriends or other men for a listening ear.

And lastly, you need to be an expert at conflict resolution. You need to cultivate the superpower of being able to NOT take things personally, and instead ask yourself: “What’s best for the relationship right now?”

The Biggest Perk of an Endless Courtship

 The good news? If you keep the courtship going, then your relationship will never lose its sizzle. The “courtship never ends” ideal becomes literal your relationship will stay as exciting and rewarding as it was when you were still dating. That alone will make the extra effort more than worth it

DATING WORLD | The Five Love Languages

 

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I remember a friend who told me how, on their anniversary, he surprised his wife by decorating their apartment with roses real ones. There were rose bouquets, rose banners, rose petals in the wine ice bucket everything. When his wife came home, she was shocked then she started sneezing uncontrollably. Too late, my friend realized his wife was allergic to certain kinds of flowers, and those roses were one of them. Then she told him: “Thank you, but if you love me, please get rid of all these flowers.” And for the rest of the night, he hauled roses out of their apartment while his wife had to spend the night at a friend’s house.

When Love Goes Unappreciated

Have you ever given a huge show of love to a woman, like buying her an expensive gift, or doing her a huge favor that took a lot of effort, or giving her a big hug but she didn’t seem to appreciate it nearly as much as you expected her to? That’s painful. And it’s inexplicable you can’t explain why she would NOT appreciate something like that, and so you conclude that she doesn’t love you after all. Careful, though. It’s never good to jump to conclusions, especially when it comes to love and relationships.

Here’s why: Her “love language” might be different from yours.

What is a Love Language?

In case you haven’t heard of the five love languages before, they were developed and put forward by Gary Chapman in his 1995 book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. In the book, Chapman claims that there are five “love languages,” or preferred ways to express love to a romantic partner. These are:

1. Words of affirmation. This is when you show love by expressing it verbally, through compliments, or by thanking her for the smallest gestures.

2. Gifts. This is when you show your love by giving her gifts, big or small. This love language is where “the thought counts” the most.

3. Acts of service. This is when you show your love by DOING things for her. You take out the trash, you wash the dishes for her, or you let her take a nap while you take care of the baby.

4. Quality time. This is when you show your love by spending quality time with her. You’re fully present you give her your undivided attention while she tells you about her day, about what’s bothering her, and about her opinions in life.

5. Physical touch. This is when you show your love by hugging her, kissing her, tickling her, playing “tag,” or making passionate love to her. Chapman claims that every person has one primary love language and one secondary love language. Now, scientifically, Chapman’s claims can’t really be proven. But his book has remained popular for more than 20 years, and countless happy couples swear by it so it would be unwise to disregard the power of love languages.

What Love Languages Mean For Your Relationship

The key takeaway is this: There isn’t just one way to express love. There are many. And if you express your love in your preferred love language and your woman doesn’t seem to appreciate it as much as you expected then it’s probably because she doesn’t speak the same love language as you. That’s also true of her. If she expresses her love in her preferred love language and you don’t show as much appreciation as she expects then she might resent it and feel unloved. So you’ll need to do two things: Observe her closely and find out what her primary love language is.

You might even ask her directly if she has a preferred love language Chapman’s book has been around long enough that the idea of “love languages” is fairly common knowledge. You also need to communicate to her what YOUR preferred love language(s) are. Simply knowing what each other’s languages are just might save your relationship one day. So check yourself, and check your woman as well. What love languages do you speak? What adjustments do you need to make?

DATING WORLD | How Women Fall in Love How do men fall in love?

 

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The moment they see a sexy, “perfect ten” woman, they’re instantly ready to go. They’re ready to date her, sleep with her, and even commit their entire lives to them. In other words, we fall in love hard and fast. Women are very different.

Women fall in love more slowly. Before a woman can commit to you, she needs to trust you first. And there’s a good biological and social reason for that. For a woman, picking a guy to commit to will affect her life tremendously. She’s already dated hot-tempered, insecure, pushy, needy, or stalker-type men in the past. She wants to make sure you’re NOT like any of those losers before getting into a relationship with you. So what’s as guy to do?

Date her, for sure. But treat each date as the great Coach Corey Wayne defines it: “A date is a fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen.” Here are three tips to put this bit of dating wisdom into practice:

Tip #1: Do not Complicate Things.

Coach Corey Wayne suggests you follow the “3 H’s” of dating: Hang out Have fun Hook up That’s it. Have all three elements in place, and you’re doing it right.

Tip #2: Don’t Lay Out All Your Cards.

Be mysterious. Be a puzzle she needs to figure out. The more mysterious you are about your true intentions, the more attracted she’ll be to you. In 2011, the University of Virginia showed a large number of college women a random set of four male students. Then each woman was told that: Some of the guys in the photos liked her a lot;

Some of the guys liked her a little; And some of the guys liked her either a lot or a little. (In other words, they weren’t sure.) You know the researchers found? The women were least attracted to the guys who liked them a little. The women were more attracted to the guys who liked them a lot. The women were MOST attracted to the guys whose feelings they couldn’t figure out. As it turns out, when a woman doesn’t know whether you like her a little or a lot, she’ll wonder about you more. The more she wonders, the more attracted she feels to you. So, don’t lay out all your cards in the beginning. Don’t rush the process and do not vomit up your feelings for her prematurely. Take her on one date per week, and call/chat with her no more than once a week.

If you do that (and follow the other tips in this book), you should get laid by the third or fourth date. You will only call a woman to ask her out on a date once per week, because this builds the anticipation, women need to wonder about you. They need to feel the feelings of awe and wonder. ‘When is he next going to call me?’ ‘Does he really like me?’ As mentioned earlier woman are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear, your being mysterious, indifferent and busy with your purpose is what will raise her level of attraction to you.

As the weeks go on she will not want to wait a whole week to hear from you and she will begin to contact you more frequently. This is where you want to be, the point where she is chasing you. All you have to do is focus on your purpose and when she reaches out to you, ALWAYS assume that she wants to see you and simply set the next date and get off the phone. The phone is for setting dates not getting to know each other, this kills the anticipation and lowers attraction.

 Tip #3: Women are Like Cats, Men are Like Dogs

When you push a friendly dog away, they keep coming back to you. We’re like that in dating, aren’t we? We’re used to rejection we just try and try again. Cats, on the other hand, come and go as they please. They don’t come when called they’ll come when they want to.

If you’ll notice, cats tend to warm up to the person in the room who doesn’t even like cats. Women are like that, too the more you show your true feelings, the more you chase them the less attracted they feel towards you. So take it easy. Treat her like you’d treat a cat.

You’ll want your relationship with her to move forward because it’s her idea because she’s curious enough about you to want to know you better. Until then, hold your ground. Have so much fun stuff going on in your life that you’re largely indifferent to whether women like you or not. If she is into you, great. If she is not, you’re no worse off than before. That’s how your mindset should be

DATING WORLD | DATING GIRLS

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DATING WORLD | MORE THIN GIRLS FOR DATING

    The girl are very sexy and hot always ready to date to any people: for date to join:

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