Showing posts with label Dating in USA. Show all posts

Thursday, January 25, 2024

DATING WORLD | The Purpose of a Relationship is to Give

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Earlier in this book, you learned that every human being is hard-wired to do two things: To survive and to replicate. It’s the most basic driving force of humanity. It’s not sexy, but take either one out, and humanity would be extinct in two generations. The most beneficial way to achieve these two primal goals is by leading what I call a “give-and-give” relationship. Let me explain

Give-and-Givee vs. Give-and-Takee

There’s a pervasive idea in the dating world where “a good relationship is give-and-take,” where both partners’ needs are equally met by the other. Unfortunately, this is a false belief because equality can never be achieved.

The moment the “50-50” becomes “51-49,” resentment begins to seep in and the resentment snowballs until the relationship breaks up. This belief has caused countless failed relationships and marriages in the past century. It makes people, men and women, enter relationships with a mindset of: “What’s in it for me?” That’s why I recommend a different approach a “give-and-give relationship.”

This is a relationship where both partners are constantly giving of themselves to each other, regardless of “equality.” As a result, there’s nothing to “take” from one another. THAT is the right mindset to have. Wouldn’t you agree? Most men today go into relationships with a “taking” mindset. They want what’s coming to them: Free sex Higher status More sex The perk of becoming more attractive to other women Even more sex Reminds you of the word “Player,” doesn’t it? My advice: Don’t buy into the “give-and-take” philosophy. It’s a game that never ends. You’ll end up broken and depressed, and so will the women you’ll fail. Instead, understand that the purpose of getting into a relationship is to give.

Fair warning: A relationship might be more challenging than you expect. It’s one of the heaviest responsibilities you can ever shoulder but that’s no surprise considering you’re keeping the species going. So here are a few tips to help make the responsibility easier. You MUST cultivate the hunger to give. If your life is still all about you and what you “get” out of it then no offense, bro, but you still got some growing up to do. You MUST have your life set up. At the very least, you got to be financially secure, with enough cash flowing into your life to support your lifestyle and the lifestyle you want to create for your relationship. That way, you’re psychologically and mechanically ready to handle a relationship. After that, you’ll need to master the “art” of handling a relationship and we’ll tackle that in the next Chapter.

One last question before that: What if it’s too late for you? What if you DON’T have a giving mindset, and you DON’T have your life set up but you’re already in a relationship? No worries. You’re a human being, and that means you can still grow. You can still start cultivating a giving mindset now, and you can still achieve financial security now. It won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But then again, nothing worthwhile like a lifelong relationship ever is.

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

DATING WORLD | How Women Fall in Love How do men fall in love?

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The moment they see a sexy, “perfect ten” woman, they’re instantly ready to go. They’re ready to date her, sleep with her, and even commit their entire lives to them. In other words, we fall in love hard and fast. Women are very different.

Women fall in love more slowly. Before a woman can commit to you, she needs to trust you first. And there’s a good biological and social reason for that. For a woman, picking a guy to commit to will affect her life tremendously. She’s already dated hot-tempered, insecure, pushy, needy, or stalker-type men in the past. She wants to make sure you’re NOT like any of those losers before getting into a relationship with you. So what’s as guy to do?

Date her, for sure. But treat each date as the great Coach Corey Wayne defines it: “A date is a fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen.” Here are three tips to put this bit of dating wisdom into practice:

Tip #1: Do not Complicate Things.

Coach Corey Wayne suggests you follow the “3 H’s” of dating: Hang out Have fun Hook up That’s it. Have all three elements in place, and you’re doing it right.

Tip #2: Don’t Lay Out All Your Cards.

Be mysterious. Be a puzzle she needs to figure out. The more mysterious you are about your true intentions, the more attracted she’ll be to you. In 2011, the University of Virginia showed a large number of college women a random set of four male students. Then each woman was told that: Some of the guys in the photos liked her a lot;

Some of the guys liked her a little; And some of the guys liked her either a lot or a little. (In other words, they weren’t sure.) You know the researchers found? The women were least attracted to the guys who liked them a little. The women were more attracted to the guys who liked them a lot. The women were MOST attracted to the guys whose feelings they couldn’t figure out. As it turns out, when a woman doesn’t know whether you like her a little or a lot, she’ll wonder about you more. The more she wonders, the more attracted she feels to you. So, don’t lay out all your cards in the beginning. Don’t rush the process and do not vomit up your feelings for her prematurely. Take her on one date per week, and call/chat with her no more than once a week.

If you do that (and follow the other tips in this book), you should get laid by the third or fourth date. You will only call a woman to ask her out on a date once per week, because this builds the anticipation, women need to wonder about you. They need to feel the feelings of awe and wonder. ‘When is he next going to call me?’ ‘Does he really like me?’ As mentioned earlier woman are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear, your being mysterious, indifferent and busy with your purpose is what will raise her level of attraction to you.

As the weeks go on she will not want to wait a whole week to hear from you and she will begin to contact you more frequently. This is where you want to be, the point where she is chasing you. All you have to do is focus on your purpose and when she reaches out to you, ALWAYS assume that she wants to see you and simply set the next date and get off the phone. The phone is for setting dates not getting to know each other, this kills the anticipation and lowers attraction.

Tip #3: Women are Like Cats, Men are Like Dogs

When you push a friendly dog away, they keep coming back to you. We’re like that in dating, aren’t we? We’re used to rejection we just try and try again. Cats, on the other hand, come and go as they please. They don’t come when called they’ll come when they want to.

If you’ll notice, cats tend to warm up to the person in the room who doesn’t even like cats. Women are like that, too the more you show your true feelings, the more you chase them the less attracted they feel towards you. So take it easy. Treat her like you’d treat a cat.

You’ll want your relationship with her to move forward because it’s her idea because she’s curious enough about you to want to know you better. Until then, hold your ground. Have so much fun stuff going on in your life that you’re largely indifferent to whether women like you or not. If she is into you, great. If she is not, you’re no worse off than before. That’s how your mindset should be