DATING WORLD | Your Relationship: Your Responsibility

 

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 Let’s say you met a great woman who liked you too. You went on a few funfilled dates, all with the opportunity for the sex to happen. Then that opportunity came, you took it A few months have passed and now you are in a committed loving Relationship. Congratulations Now what?

Huge Rewards, Huge Responsibility

Obviously, your new goal is to make your new relationship work for a lifetime. But surprisingly, most guys don’t even think of this. Most guys see the perks of being in a relationship with a woman, but they don’t see the responsibility.

In fact, most guys think of the “job” to make a relationship work as being divided equally between themselves and their girlfriend. They think that whenever relationships fail, half the time it’s the man’s fault while the other half of the time, it’s the woman’s fault. But nope. While some failed relationships ARE caused by crazy women who have no business being in a relationship, the vast majority are the men’s responsibility.

Here’s why: A failure in relationship means a failure in leadership. And by now, you should know that the leader of your relationship is you. If your girlfriend gets upset or unhappy, it means you’re not meeting her needs. And when you disregard her complaints as the “outbursts of a bratty little girl,” it means you’re not really all that concerned in meeting her needs. So she naturally goes elsewhere to have her needs met. So let me say that again:

A failure in relationship means a failure in leadership. So How Do You Lead a Relationship Well? The key is to always be the leader in your relationship. You got to be the strong, dominant, capable guy who delivers on all (or at least MOST) of his promises and who constantly grows and improves himself over time. But at the same time, while you’re busy meeting her needs and your own, you should also demand respect. Remember, you’re the leader, not the subordinate. You’re the master, not the slave. You don’t live for her; you live for your mission in life. Your woman should be in submission, she must submit to your mission. In other words, she should aid, assist and support you in fulfilling your mission and purpose in life.

She cannot, and should not ever be the mission and purpose. How to Know You’re Not Ready Remember one of the core traits you should be developing in yourself is honesty. And a huge part of honesty is about being honest with yourself including when it comes to knowing when you’re NOT ready to handle a relationship. How do you know you’re NOT ready? Here are a few signs: You’re not committed to being a lifelong leader of your relationship You’re still “okay” with the idea of a relationship being a 50/50 deal, where you “share” leadership and responsibility with your woman.

You’re still a people-pleaser that is, you’re addicted to making people like you and when people DON’T like you, you take it personally If you still have any of the traits above then while you SHOULD keep meeting and dating women, perhaps it’s best if you waited until you’re ready before you got into a serious relationship. But on the other hand, if you ARE ready and if you’re WILLING to accept the lifelong responsibility, come hell or high water then congratulations. You’re about to enter the most challenging, character-building, and rewarding phase of a man’s life

DATING WORLD | The Purpose of a Relationship is to Give

             

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 Earlier in this book, you learned that every human being is hard-wired to do two things: To survive and to replicate. It’s the most basic driving force of humanity. It’s not sexy, but take either one out, and humanity would be extinct in two generations. The most beneficial way to achieve these two primal goals is by leading what I call a “give-and-give” relationship. Let me explain

Give-and-Givee vs. Give-and-Takee

There’s a pervasive idea in the dating world where “a good relationship is give-and-take,” where both partners’ needs are equally met by the other. Unfortunately, this is a false belief because equality can never be achieved.

 The moment the “50-50” becomes “51-49,” resentment begins to seep in and the resentment snowballs until the relationship breaks up. This belief has caused countless failed relationships and marriages in the past century. It makes people, men and women, enter relationships with a mindset of: “What’s in it for me?” That’s why I recommend a different approach a “give-and-give relationship.”

This is a relationship where both partners are constantly giving of themselves to each other, regardless of “equality.” As a result, there’s nothing to “take” from one another. THAT is the right mindset to have. Wouldn’t you agree? Most men today go into relationships with a “taking” mindset. They want what’s coming to them: Free sex Higher status More sex The perk of becoming more attractive to other women Even more sex Reminds you of the word “Player,” doesn’t it? My advice: Don’t buy into the “give-and-take” philosophy. It’s a game that never ends. You’ll end up broken and depressed, and so will the women you’ll fail. Instead, understand that the purpose of getting into a relationship is to give.

 Fair warning: A relationship might be more challenging than you expect. It’s one of the heaviest responsibilities you can ever shoulder but that’s no surprise considering you’re keeping the species going. So here are a few tips to help make the responsibility easier. You MUST cultivate the hunger to give. If your life is still all about you and what you “get” out of it then no offense, bro, but you still got some growing up to do. You MUST have your life set up. At the very least, you got to be financially secure, with enough cash flowing into your life to support your lifestyle and the lifestyle you want to create for your relationship. That way, you’re psychologically and mechanically ready to handle a relationship. After that, you’ll need to master the “art” of handling a relationship and we’ll tackle that in the next Chapter.

One last question before that: What if it’s too late for you? What if you DON’T have a giving mindset, and you DON’T have your life set up but you’re already in a relationship? No worries. You’re a human being, and that means you can still grow. You can still start cultivating a giving mindset now, and you can still achieve financial security now. It won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But then again, nothing worthwhile like a lifelong relationship ever is.